The 2010 Jerkass List*

  1. Johnny Depp -- Depp is here for three reasons: agreeing to star in a fourth Pirates movie, playing the same role ad nauseam in
Tim Burton films, and constantly appearing in public wearing pretentious hats.

  2. Owen Wilson -- His cockiness was once charming.  Now he's just a jerkass playing himself in virtually every movie (Note to producers:  just giving him a different kind of haircut every once in a while might make him a bit sassier).  Anybody agreeing to star in a movie like Marley and Me is an automatic jerkass. His suicide attempt made him no less of a jerkass--in fact, it made him more of a jerkass because you just know he'll make you regret your pity one day.

  3. Orlando Bloom -- Who would have thought that the films of Bloom would be raking in more money than those of Nicolas Cage? Bloom's not a jerkass for starring in the Pirates movies. He's a jerkass for posing in pictures like the one on the left and for his cockiness in Elizabethtown. If he kept his Legolas persona in real life he wouldn't be such a jerkass.

4. Mel Gibson -- An anti-Semitic, arrogant jerkass.

  5. Nicolas Cage -- Cage could be in this list just for his repertoire alone.  Even if you had never watched a second of film with his face, just knowing that someone agreed to star in films like Face/Off, Bangkok Dangerous, 8mm, Knowing and the like should tell you that you are dealing with a jerkass.  Struggling financially to own multiple castles does not help.

  6. Dan Aykroyd -- Word has it that Dan is not friendly with fans. Strange to be so arrogant when in the world of comedy he's, at best,
just all right.

  7. Jon Favreau -- Making Iron Man 2 was not bad enough. Trying to build yourself up as some kind of jokester star in the movie made you a jerkass.

  8. Brad Pitt -- Pitt's been a jerkass for as long as anyone can remember.  He is more than just a pretty boy. He has talent. But the
arrogance takes over any other image he may be showing us.

9. Rob Schneider -- No comment necessary (except perhaps to explain why he is on the box office list to begin with).

  10. Arnold Schwarzenegger -- His height may still be a mystery, but it's safe to say that he's a jerkass.

 

Not a Jerkass**
 

1. Harrison Ford -- Not a particularly fan-friendly celebrity, yet Ford maintains non-jerkass gravitas in interviews.

  2. Tom Cruise -- Cruise is not a jerkass because he makes fun of himself.  Example 1.  Example 2.  Scientology freak, perhaps, but not a jerkass.

  3. Morgan Freeman -- A kind celebrity who recently made what is said to be an outstanding HBO documentary on racism in Mississippi. Freeman has some kind of entertainment technology company, which tells you that he's not oblivious to money, but he doesn't seem to be much of a jerkass.

  4. Bruce Willis -- Bruce Willis's vodka ad put him very close to the jerkass category, but he has somehow kept a kind of dignity all these years.  You feel like if somehow you met him, he'd be nice to you, don't you?

  5. John Travolta -- John Travolta may be some kind of ass, but he's not a jerkass.  Taking roles in Battlestar Earth and Hairspray were probably the biggest risks he could have taken in his career. You have to give him credit for that.

  6. Stan Lee -- Steve Ditko may not like Stan Lee, but if you watch the man speak enough it seems pretty obvious that he's not a jerkass.

  7. Frank Oz -- The voice of Yoda and a serious director with a bad rut of films.  Not a jerkass.

  8. Kathy Bates -- Bates may essentially play the same character again and again, but she's no jerkass.

  9. Will Smith -- Will Smith does a good job making us believe that he's a good guy.  Possibly a jerkass, but maybe not.

  10.Willem Dafoe -- Probably a strange man in real life, but does not seem to be an ass in any way, shape, or form.


Jerkassedness Level Unknown

  1. Samuel L. Jackson --  Some say that Jackson has been in more movies than any other star.   Supposedly he takes every role that he is offered.  Like his costar in Pulp Fiction, he may be some kind of ass, but it's unclear whether he's an jerkass.

  2. Tom Hanks -- Tom Hanks certainly takes himself (and World War 2) way too seriously, but it isn't clear if he has taken it to the jerkass level.

  3. Eddie Murphy -- Eddie Murphy certainly used to be a jerkass (he supposedly played his former jerkass self in Bowfinger). It isn't so clear whether he is one today or not.  He seems to get around with the ladies, but isn't necessarily a jerkass.

  4. John Ratzenberger -- He became most famous from a small role in Superman--just kidding, Cliff from Cheers. He's also the voice of Hamm the pig in the Toy Story movies.  Probably not a jerkass.

  5. Robin Williams -- He may get on your nerves for starring in sappy movies, but he doesn't appear to be a jerkass.

  6. James Earl Jones -- He must be in the box office list because of the voice of Darth Vader. He played a silly role in an episode of
Will and Grace, therefore he is probably not a jerkass.

  7. Hugo Weaving -- The excellent Agent Smith in the excellent Matrix 1. Australian and therefore unknown level of jerkassedness.

  8. John Cleese -- It seems unbelievable that he could be a jerkass, but he recently said he no longer laughs at comedy, so. . .

  9. Gary Oldman -- He may have been a jerkass long ago, but he doesn't seem to be one now.

  10. Alan Rickman -- It's a bit surprising that Rickman's on the list. Because of Die Hard? Love, Actually?  Ah, Harry Potter.  Right.  But he doesn't seem to be too much of a jerkass.


*This is a list of jerkasses listed in terms of box office drawing power as of June 1, 2010. It is not a measure of their jerkassedness.

**These people could very well be jerkasses, but as faw as we know, they are not.